Maybe because you are making such a big deal out of it.
You don't know this crowd by now?

God, you act like an idiot!

Your wife is probably a very nice but you are making her mental stability to be called into question by staying with you.
Hang up, turn on some music and ask her to dance with you. IF , you really care.

I'd rather die in a BAD gunfight than a GOOD nursing home.