Al, I'm sorry for your situation and sympathetic. I've read each of the Posts here, all reflecting kind concerned folks. I'm no better than most here, without real expertise to offer. I do believe the best "amateur" answer is to seek professional help as soon as possible. The ER, or less drastic, the brand new National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 811. The following info about such option from my last night research, I hope perhaps the offer of a 'nuclear takeaway' from my information here.
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After reading all your Thread as noted, I Googled the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, posing the question of "what a caller to expect" The search term itself was productive. Just not what I expected. I didn't get much of a quality answer. This is a program less than one month old. Shockingly to me the information in my eight or so samplings, much more about touting statistics, about State officials and political figures sponsoring. About self-back slapping. About... everything but substantive answers responsive to that simple question. Washington State, providing reference to the enabling Legislative Bill including Number! Woah, if an emergency where a potential suicide victim needs that enabling law information urgently, it's there for all to view. My experience with simple soft, kind, caring, friendly and compassionate "primer" as the telephone experience info I'd expect; not there.
What I did get, with some ferriting out, 'potentially' is your ability to call 811 and actually remain largely anonymous, only giving your first name for better personal relationship established. Other questions they may be required to ask, you have the right to decline to answer. The program itself 'sounding' almost surely to serve you well. "Those in need but with doubts about what might help. A supposed simple, no harm, no foul! You can 'supposedly' make a test call. A "What if my friend suffered... Setting forth your situation and symptoms in hypothetical context, without any negative sanctions. No tracing back the call, etc. Differing very much from calling 911 Emergency. You can set the tone and parameters of the 811 call. The downside principally I can foresee, a new system full of glitches. Getting through, avoiding getting transferred around, a properly trained person... All that stuff.
"Patience and not giving up likely a key to helping the system work for you! Making successful contact your priority! You may be transferred to a call center half the nation away, as the system tries to adjust for call loads. That's normal. You can remain totally anonymous, but by virtue of the 'system', you will be part of the grand experiment. Keeping "perspective and eye on your personal ball", likely important. Last the sad humor we call "life", the admonishment... "Your experience may vary!" This may sound weird, but you may be able to help them, getting through the "trying days of new service providers", coming together in a new system.
What you can probably do to 'prep' for such a call. Consider your situation. Make notes, principal points. Important stuff you believe your contact voice on the phone will need to help you. When I'm on overload, I make notes concerning important 'comms'. The 811 Service folks are required to ask the some questions off the bat. Your name (again first name only is OK or none if you wish), whether you have thoughts of hurting yourself or others. You don't have to answer, but those are watershed questions. You should plan to answer them honestly. Actually any "fudging", hedging, lying about anything, will likely hurt you most. If you truly don't know OR wish not to answer, just say so AND ask to move on. Again for emphasis, I'd urge you to confront such issues and be prepared for a totally honest answer to the best of your abilities. The ER is the emergency parachute if you simply can't answer honestly and effectively or if you adjudge phone assistance as 'not to help'.
Al, what I'm suggesting here in my poor amateurish fashion, are parachutes. For folks who can and will take that first step to speak with someone far better trained than likely anyone here or direct to ER. And... In that context a momentary critique. Those who suggest positive self help in this Thread, going to the extent of uprooting as relocating bodies and lives... They're not understanding the problem of someone 'frozen'. Not even able to well function with daily tasks. They're not "listening"! Advice for somewhat troubled folks, perhaps simply needing a 'nudge' or new vista perspective. Such 'trek out' advice perhaps appropriate. But here we have you more like in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, in a dingy! No viable oars and limited rations/water. A radio lifeline in hand. Not the occasion for helpful offer of "advanced swimming skills, navigation, weather advice, tides or currents; perhaps a 'six pack' for libation! The point, best "self help", use the radio! Seek help! A person struggling just to stay afloat! "Relocation" and about any other advice, seems to me, a discouraging distraction. "Holiday brochures of Caribbean adventures, beaches, babes and beer... Great for you or I, but missing a person struggling, needs whatsoever.
About this "amateur". Age 81! Retired lawyer, retired L/E special agent, retired American military officer. Personal story of years ago. A close college and law associate. Him, supposed to be my personal 'wet behind ears', mentor! 'Us', as two person attorney office in small town. Hanging with him for almost my initial year of practice as seeing this good man deteriorate emotionally. I didn't have a clue and myself debt laden from school, no time to assume responsibilities beyond self and family. Necessarily, in my career, 'moving on'. A full seven years later, him having lost all due to mental/emotional illness. A wife and two adorable little girls as I knew them. His law practice, his financial worth & reputation. Finally his life. Ended in suicide in a VA clinic bathroom. A Viet Nam vet. Combat injured with a life of pills and pain. Some years later to realize his almost surely severe PTSD. Despite his lawyer education, he didn't have a clue how to reach out on his own behalf. I didn't have a clue, other than his observable corset, physical injuries and incessant pain. Yet never guessing, what portended a greater problem and final demise. Yet coming to realize his increasing inability to "focus" as symptom-central. When you can't focus, bad things follow and manifest quickly. Another attorney waiting in the wings as I departed. Ripcord fluttering! Learning later, my replacement had also bailed! To this day, my regrets for a truly good human being, father and family man... My colleague lost! I was part of the process of harming him by my own ignorance and failures. Such to pause, to really 'observe' a person 'in need'. My head in my own problems, then seeming overwhelming but not "unmanageable". Now, to this day, wondering if not some manner to have better assisted him. The VA system surely failed him, as it traditionally has many vets. "Retired" military status, another almost opposite 'happier world'.
OPTIONAL READ: I'm a firm believer in my personal God. One who holds us responsible for our daily self-guidance and actions as we have the capability. A God who softly expects "good works" for humanity as we can each manage. Beginning with ourselves! A "big picture" God as we ask where he is and how he allows human atrocities. The simple answer... "We are not intended to know God's greater plan." I have humbly prayed for you Al. I believe prayers do count. As "man proposes, God disposes." Suggest you propose to God that you will reach out with preparation, persistence and faith as you can muster. Allow him to control the consequences. The fact of then able to lift your head, to say "I've tried!"
The postscript, this exercise in attempting to help you, a 'timeout'... Has also helped me! A manifestation of "God working in mysterious ways..."
May your troubles be soon manageable as then quickly 'past'!
Best!
John
