FBI-We want to find out which car most efficiently reaches 60mph in 6 seconds.
Campfire Guru-My grandpa drove a car a 100 years ago that went 60mph.
FBI-Car#1 reaches 60mph in 6 seconds burning the least amount of fuel, with the most comfortable ride and was the easiest to safely drive.
Campfire Guru-But Car#2 does it in 5.9 seconds.....with no power steering and it slides all over the road and is wildly dangerous for half the drivers in the world.
FBI-Yes, Car#2 is faster. But that speed comes at a price. Do you understand cause and effect?
Campfire Guru-Did you not hear me???? I said 5.9 SECONDS!!!!
FBI-Have you ever tested both cars side by side to see which best accomplishes the goal?
Campfire Guru-So YOU'RE telling ME that my grandpa was a queer for pulling a trailer with Truck#3?
FBI-What are you even talking about? We're testing the speed efficiency of cars reaching 60mph and set 6 seconds as our benchmark.
Campfire Guru-A real man could keep any car on the road. I can. I did it one time last year.
FBI-Of course you can. But you could drive Car#1 and still accomplish your goal, but without as much drama or problems for yourself.
Campfire Guru-Don't tell me about your stupid race car.
FBI-It's not a race car, it's just a regular car. But it more efficiently accomplishes the same goal as Car#2.
Campfire Guru-Do you have any idea how large my penis is? I can drive ANY CAR.
FBI-That really has nothing to do with our research.
Campfire Guru-If you ever call my grandpa a queer again I'll shoot you with my bullets from 1904.
Quite possibly the best internet response I've ever read. Rolling here...
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
