Cheyenne, you make some good points. Yes, I'm presupposing that in the majority of instances the man will bring more assets and earning power to the relationship. In general, men choose women for their beauty, and women choose men for their status. Women marry men of equal or higher status. The technical term for this is hypergamy, and occurs in the vast majority of marriages. Unfortunately the biggest thing women are bringing to relationships today is debt. They have 70% of the student loan debt, while men hold the higher paying degrees, which feeds into the next stat, they also hold 80% of the credit card debt.
So on average, a man getting married today can expect the woman to have twice the student loan debt, 4x his consumer debt, and few assets, and lower earning potential. Of course this is not always the case, but it is the median case. Today, two of the worst things for a marriage is the man pay off all his wife's debt, or the woman getting promoted to a position faster then her husband. Both strongly correlate with increased divorce rates.
That is sad to hear, AS. Even my younger friends have been quite successful, but their marriages have been those of equals, not equation-conscious ladder climbing on either side. I am not talking about income or assets here. A lot of these guys are real deal alpha male types, and some of them, when presented with the opportunity, have not minded moving to to other cities to support their wives' careers or other goals. As for me, I have been lucky. My wife is a kick-ass woman who flipped in and out of the labor market depending on our mutual goals. She put me through two years of graduate school. I then carried the water so she could become a multi-sport athlete, then a mom. Then she flipped back into the labor force for some play money. Then she went to work full time and convinced me to quit my full-time job 5 years ago. (I went part time for play money.)
I can also tell you that one of my longest-term best friends is a woman. She had to deal with men who meet the same description of the women you are describing now.
Cheyenne, you bring up several good points. In general states like Wyoming, South Dakota, and Nebraska are faring better with the divorce statistics then the bigger cities. In general, they have a flatter income structure so few ladders for either side to attempt to climb, and this leads to a greater proportion of marriages between equals willing to work together for a better future. Additionally, if you live in a small town, it's much harder to dial the the dating app and have 100 new matches that are not all your neighbors and cousins, which again keeps some of the behaviors we're discussing tamped down.
Like you, my wife and I are in counter cyclical businesses. At different time we've swapped back and forth between who's working or going to school. Having that type of flexibility is good in an every changing world.
Your also right that some people still get it. One of my former co-workers, a finance type, is married to a engineer. She's pretty smart, catapulted herself to a VP position at a local S&P 500 company. Recently, he followed her to Brazil, where she's now the 3rd highest executive it the region, and he plays Mr. Mom and golfs all day since his Visa status prevents him from working. For them, it's working fine, but once again, they are a couple of well grounded small town southern kids with the humility and gratitude to appreciate their success. Unfortunately, those trait seem less common now.
