Originally Posted by antelope_sniper
Originally Posted by BillyGoatGruff
Originally Posted by Tyrone
You guys bring up a lot of good points.

I think a lot of it has to do with expectation. For me, marriage was something I thought successful people did, not something for the poor. I didn't even start looking for a wife until I had a relatively stable, good paying job. Also, sex was so available, what if I married and something better came along?

Those are both pretty FU sentiments, but they are even more common today. All that waiting for more, waiting for better is really a form of depression or causes a form of depression. You should see some of the kids I work with - yes, they have a decent job, but they have no hope or vision for the future, no idea about fulfillment. And, they even look depressed.



I got married when neither of us had a penny to our name. Had a kid soon after. Had negative pennies to our names. Climbed out of the hole because this is America and I can.

Marriage isn't tied to money, it's tied to commitment.


BGG,
And when did you get married?
Sure, that worked in your day, but watch the video I posted above. That's not what women expect. The current trend is for them to expect a man:

At least 6 feet tall. (14% of men)
Bachler's degree or greater, no trade schools, because men in the trades are "low status" (25% of men)
6 figure income (10% of men)
6 figures of home equity
6 figure bank account

How many of those had applied to you at the time you married your wife? I'm guessing maybe the 6" in height, maybe the degree, but none of the rest?
Too many modern women are not looking to build a future with a good man in the same way that your wife did. Instead, they expect to wait at the finish line, and scoop him up as he crosses, so he can rescue them from the 200k in student loans and credit card (70& of all student loan balances are held by women, and 80% of all consumer debt is held by women) after they had all their fun in their 20's hooking up and partying.

Tyrone,

Glad you did it right. Guys who follow your model, wait until they are in their 30's and established have the most options in the dating market. The current trend if for the most options to be available to guys between the ages of 32 and 36, and up to 45 depending upon their resources, and for them to snap up the most desirable women, being those between 22 and 26, with low body counts, so they have not lost their ability to pair bond, and not so educated that they have 200k in debt and unrealistic expectations regarding what men bring to the table.

Of course this leave a lot of highly educated, debt ridden bitter 30+ year old women who can't find a man to meet their white knight standards, unless they are willing to look to guys 20+ years older. This will be very good for the market for cat food and pet toys, but not so good for sales of double cemetery plots, unless one is for her cat.


Only been married 20 years this May. You are correct, in that the 6' mark is the only one I met, and that only barely.

I'm not absolving the modern man of any culpability, but (and there may be built in bias?) I believe we're for the most part, the same we always were. Biologically women are too, but societally it is the fairer sex who have changed in the last couple generations. Some good, but far and away for the bad. Used to be being a slut, or a gold digger carried a certain amount of shame. That is gone now. Utterly. Some would argue that's for the better. I'm not one of them.

To be fair though, in decades past, how many women stuck around an [bleep] husband who smacked her around and cheated on her at the drop of a hat? The stigma of being an unwed mother, or whore kept them at home in a situation that sucked. Now there is far less compunction to even try and stick around to work out a rough patch. No incentive to have a successful happy marriage. Almost nobody even actually raises their own kids anymore.


MAGA