yeah bullshit, i have no problem with someone offing them self if that is what they want to do. What I do have a problem with is what they do to their families. Depression sucks and when someone turns it all about themselves and does not give a flying [bleep] about the ones they are leaving to deal with it, that pisses me off
That is natural. The ones left behind feel cheated. In a way, they are.
The same empty and angry feeling lingers after the death of a loved one or someone close to alcoholism. Alcoholism is often seen as self induced just like suicide. It leaves people with resentment, bitterness and anger that is difficult to let go of or resolve.
A few weeks ago I was given the privilege of giving the eulogy at my very close friends memorial service. He died of complications of alcoholism. His life went from great to out of control and then death within 3 years. Astonishing to witness, and unavoidable despite involvement and intervention. This is what I talked to those gathered about. Alcoholism (you can substitute suicide in such a talk) was the 800 pound gorilla in the room that we all wanted to talk about, but couldn't. We all felt empty, we felt cheated, we felt anger, we were bitter. We were disappointed in our friend/brother/father/husband/son who did not stick to recovery. The lies and the broken promises stung us. He is gone but should still be with us. Suicide leaves the same. Our friend/father/husband/son should still be with us, but is gone. It leaves us angry at him, bitter that we can't resolve it, and have a situation that is difficult to work out.
I told all those gathered that mental illness is real. It is as real and as deadly as cancer or heart disease. As a matter of fact, I challenged all there in that if our friend had died of cancer, or of a heart attack, or some other common natural condition that we all would have a different feeling about our friend. We would be sad, we would mourn, but we wouldn't have the anger or resentment. I challenged them all to let that go, to accept that alcoholism and depression are diseases just the same, and accept them as less understood but equally as fatal. I told them all that should the our friend had succumbed to cancer, we'd all think back and talk in terms of "before he got sick, things we great and we did such and such and he was happy and fun to be around". I challenged them to treat this the same way and remember our friend "before he got sick".
Suicide is no different in my observations. To let go fo the anger and negativity, those close need to remember the person "before they were sick". It doesn't solve everything, but it starts a path to some resolution and peace of mind for those left to deal with the aftermath.
It is a sad situation, no matter how you try to deal with it.
