In my family those would be lies to somehow whitewash the character of the deceased. My grandmother died a decade or so ago and we had a memorial / celebration of life the following summer. I told my father and aunt that by no means should they force me to speak else what I spoke would be the truth, not the pretty lies. They got the hint. She was a cold, cruel person who found her greatest joy inflicting emotional pain on people who wished to love and respect her. I don't believe she ever took a sober breath after grandpa died in '68. The best times she and I ever had were near the end when dementia took over and she forgot to be cruel. Of course, she started mistaking me for grandpa about then and I heard some things that you don't want to imagine regarding your grandparents ... way way way TMI. I could have spoken at my mom's service in '92. I will not paint her as an angel, just as a caring mom who did her best. Not much more you can ask of anyone. And I could have told some pretty funny stories.
My advice .. be the person you want to be remembered as. Live it, don't just talk it, and don't count on others to lie for you.
Tom
Anyone who thinks there's two sides to everything hasn't met a M�bius strip.
I could have spoken at my mom's service in '92. I will not paint her as an angel, just as a caring mom who did her best. Not much more you can ask of anyone. And I could have told some pretty funny stories.