...and I myself have longed since stopped referring to it by that name, so as not to offend folks (might seem ironic I know).
I generally say "War Between the States" or "War of Secession".
"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
