A elderly Mormon asked his doctor if he thought he’d live to be a hundred.
The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?”
“No,” he replied, “I’ve never done either.”
“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?” inquired the doctor.
“No, I’ve never done any of those things either.”
“Well then,” said the doctor, “what do you want to live to be a hundred for?
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The Dean of Women at BYU was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation," she said, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?" A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?"
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A Baptist a Catholic and a Mormon were talking about their families. . .
The Baptist says I have 4 kids, just one more and I'll have a basketball team. The Catholic says That's nice but I have 10 kids, one more and I'll have a football team. The Mormon says Well, I have 17 wives, one more, and I'll have a golf course.
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What's the difference between a Catholic wedding and a Mormon wedding?
At a Catholic wedding, the bride is pregnant. At a Mormon wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant.
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How are Mormons better than Catholics?
They marry the children before they molest them.
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What do you get when you cross a Jehovah Witness and a Mormon?
Someone who won't leave your porch.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a Kleptomaniac and a Mormon?
A: A basement full of stolen food.
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