Last time I interacted with one, I was 17. Went down to the river access, no one around, so I did a donut with the old hot rod in the parking lot as I was leaving. Headed out of there, here comes flashing lights out of the dust cloud behind me. Gray haired agent known to be an azzhole comes marching up once I stopped, proceeds to berate me for reckless driving says he’s going to ruin my day. I told him nobody was in the lot, where was he hiding out? He was sitting at the bottom of the boat ramp, he said, waiting for some punk like me.
Told me I wouldn’t forget the ticket any time soon. I handed him the license, plumb pissed off by this time. Told him to go write that ticket. My tone caught his attention. He says, and then what? I said, and then I will be here, and kill everything that moves in this area. Be a full time job for you trying to catch me at it.
Stupid thing to say, good at that when I was pissed back then. He says that would be a bad idea. I admitted that was true, but said it wouldn’t stop me. He went back to his Jeep, was there a minute or two, came back and handed me my license, told me he’d mail me the ticket. I laughed. He stomped back to his Jeep and we left. Never got that ticket. He got his boat perforated while checking folks’ lines in the river a few months later, asked for a transfer, and was gone.
