say what you want but
There is no such thing as a "bad" golf day.
Lemme beg to differ for a minute.
When I was about 10-12 my dad and his best friend would try to sneak away once a month or so to the local course and shoot a round of golf. They were both pretty terrible but liked to go get away from the wife and kids and drink a couple cold beers on a nice afternoon. Me and my dad’s buddy’s kid would beg to go hang with them and they’d give in and let us occasionally. Once we’d get there we’d beg and plead to drive the carts, we had no interest in golf but getting to drive anything is awesome when you’re 11.
So one day we’d weaseled our way into going and had even talked them into letting us drive. All was going swimmingly until about the 6th hole. Dad hits a nice one straight down the fairway and hops back into the cart and tells me to take him down to his ball. We buzz down there and I park the cart approximately 7 inches from his ball. He gets a club and tells me to get the damn cart out of his way, what am I an idiot? What happened next is as clear as if it were yesterday.
I cut the wheel all the way to the left and floored it, making a big circle around to end up behind the old man. Meanwhile he’s taken his club and assumed the position and I pull up behind him. Stomped the brake at which point my greasy old flip flop slides off my foot and I tromp the gas. Ran smack into the Old Man, he never saw it coming. He flew through the windshield doubled over and landed wedged between the front of the seat and the dashboard with his legs and head sticking out the front of the cart. I’m jerking the wheel like a madman in a total panic all the while standing on the gas going as fast as the cart will take us down the fairway while Pop cusses a blue streak telling me to “Stop this Fuchking thing!”
His buddy and his kid were laughing their asses off. Sprained the schit out of Dad’s wrist, spilled his beer all over my lap. He was one mad Mofo. Then since his wrist was fugged and he’d paid for 18 he made me play the rest of the course. I think having to play and be serious was the worst punishment I could have got, I just knew that he was going to whip my ass if I fugged up.
Looking back 20 years later I can still picture the whole thing and I laugh my ass off every time I think about it. The Old Man still doesn’t think it was funny 😄
