I ain't got nothin' against Catholics,.. in fact, I'm married to one.

But lawd have mercy!,.. I just ain't got the knees to convert!

I've always been a Methodist. We stand up in church evah now and then and sing a song or two, but every time I go to mass,... 'bout time I get comfortable, it's time ta fold up and kneel on the padded rail on the pew in front of ya.

Last time I went to mass,... I thought they was gonna have ta bring a cherry picker in ta lift me up and carry me out the door.

,... and they won't gimme a cracker either,...