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You know, when a person doesn't really care much anymore, things change. I was near that point in my career in ATC and one day in the presence of a genuine Wash. DC. headquarters puke I laid an F-bomb in his well coiffed presence. Li'l Nazi azzhat turned me in.

It was a merry adventure and in the end I did two things I'm proud of. One was to retire about 4 months later without notice. The other was the response pasted below, that with transmittal cover sheet went all the way to DC Hq and the FAA Administrator.

All airway intersections have 5 letters. There are more intersections than letters so the folks within a local jurisdiction get creative when new intersections are named. You see, the intersections have to be pronounceable and air traffic controllers are by nature, wise azzed psychos. I were one. I invented this letter and it was actually submitted. No Chitt(ok).

So, without further ado;
_____________________________________________________________

6-10-03

L.O.R. Decision


Mario Bosque
Central Area Operations Supervisor
JAX ARTCC
Hilliard, Fl.

Mr. Bosque,

I am profoundly disappointed with the affirmation of your Letter of Reprimand per your letter dated 4-30-03. This issue will ultimately be settled by arbitration IAW the Collective Bargaining Agreement as outlined in the second paragraph of your letter, and barring success in that arena, in court.

Although I do not wish to sound repetitive I must restate my request for information contained in my letter of response to your proposed action, dated 4-14-03, that being a list of proscribed language or verbiage that is prohibited in the workplace. You threaten me with termination in your Letter of Reprimand yet are coy in regards to what language is acceptable in the workplace. If you refuse to respond as requested please have the professional courtesy to respond in the negative. Some framework definition is required in this matter, and to date the silence has been deafening.

I will take this occasion to address another aspect of my letter that needs amending even though it may be too late. I was interrogated by Ms. Gettig regarding my use of THE WORDS, and later signed acknowledgment of the transcript of that event. My mind was in such turmoil at that juncture that I overlooked a not inconsequential aspect of the text and my admission. The spelling used in the text was �F--- You�, and being no stranger to phonics I overlooked the fact that my words were in fact spelled �Ph--- You�. They sound the same. The origin of this phrase precedes us by many centuries and in fact has evolved through many changes since the original �Plucking the Yew�*. This is probably beyond allowable time frames for this process, but I felt compelled to set the record straight nonetheless.

In addition I must expand on my reference to the Athol intersection in ZMA airspace. Well, I have subsequently discovered a plethora of such intersections on the ERIDS system and other FAA sources. I feel compelled to acknowledge my total lack of understanding on the subject of propriety concerning intersection names. As these names are in the NAS data base I am left with little choice but to assume they are indeed acceptable verbiage in the workplace and as it appears that context is irrelevant I will feel free to use them as deemed appropriate. I will list them for you for the record with the state of location in closed parenthesis. Before I start however, I just want you to know that I consider this entire thing FUBAR (AZ). Did you know that COLIN (VA) is right next door to NUTTS (VA)? COLLN (CO) isn�t. At least LOINS (IA) is separated from BEAVR (TX) by BUTCH (OK). What a relief! But it gets worse, sorry. Do you think there is a hidden meaning in the placement of BUSSH (TN) just across the border from NUDEE (NC) and SLITT (NC)? You probably know that DIKEE (AK) is a long way from there but it�s in the same place as NAKED (AK), geographically speaking. If I lived on the east coast I might be concerned about my neighbors with DICKE (NJ) and LICKK (NJ) on their mind. There is some symmetry however in that JUGGS(ID) is several time zones separated from RACKE(FL) and CRACK(AK). Is this just another SNAFU(NJ)? What kind of ATHOL(FL) allowed this to happen? BABEE(NY) and BABBE(MI) are probably not the same, just as COLON(SC) and GASHE(OR) are different. Some people like to SWALO(MA), some shake their BOOTY(WI), some think MUFFE(FL) is SEXXY(IL), and out west we have DIVER(TX) and DIVVR(TX), but maybe they are of different persuasion. The message from the heartland is not ambiguous however since they prefer COOCH(NB).

You may think that would conclude the list of intersections that detail various body parts or have graphic reference to sex. DONYA(MI) bet your BOOTE(IN) on it BAABE(OH). I�m just getting warmed up on this FAKKR(CA). I want you to understand by the way, I�m not giving you the FINGR(TX) in a metaphorical sense. Just trying to define what is acceptable. If you find that my methodology does not AMUZE(AL) you, remember that I asked for your guidance on three prior occasions. Well, on with the show. No thought or association is intended by the order of presentation:
BAABY(MD) HONEE(TX) LUVVE(CA) BUSTS(TX) BUXOM(OR) CUTEY(IL) DROOL(MI) FEELY(NC) LOVER(NM) CODDS(WA) DONGS(FL) LUNGS(WI) FLUZE(NM) BODYS(OH) BLOWN(PA) LONGG(OK) HUMPP(WA) RACKK(IL) SLEEZ(CA) QUIKY(PA) HUMMR(AZ) RACKS(NM) ANNAS(VA)

Tell me this is one big FOPAW(OK), please. It makes me want to consider getting DRUNK(MA) with some HOOCH(PA) or BEERS(PA), or high on GANJA(TX) or WEEDD(CA) or GRASS(WI) or JUNKE(KS). Is this how one becomes a JUNKI(VA)? Before I get back to the sexual innuendo I want to share some ethnic slang with you. It seems to be very diverse so maybe it�s okay. Must be since it�s been blessed by Washington. CAJIN(VA) CAJUN(FL) CANUK(GA) DINKS(VA) SLANT(TX) and COONS(AZ). Seems like a CROCK(MO) of CHITT(VT) to me. Unless you�re a PUTTZ(MS) you�d have to agree. What a DOOZI(AK) of a mess this is. It makes me feel a bit like Donald Duck; You know, the part about not giving a QUACK(AK). That by the way is a derivative of PH---, which is derived from F---, a further derivation of PLUCK(OK) which originated from the 1400�s according to my source. Funny how PLUCK(OK) and PH--- are five letter words. I wonder why the latter didn�t make the list.

Other insensitive verbiage, perhaps better left off the airwaves: CREEP(OH) DAAME(RI) FATTI(VA) FATTS(TN) FATTY(FL) FLABB(TN) HONIE(GA) HONNY(NE) NERDE(ND) UGLEE(FL); And while I�m at it, don�t be a MORON(CA) and try to convince me that this GUANO(FL) is okay. It is not.

Well now, its time to get back to the world of innuendo. This isn�t about who has the LONGER(AL) WILLY(VA), nor does it matter if your BABYS(TX) looking for a BUBEE(IA) NOOGY(CA). I�m not going to get into SLITZ(MO), COLNZ(IA), CRAPS(NV) even as I try to keep this out of the BENJO(MI). With that thought in mind there is little purpose in discussing FISTR(CO). Such is life on planet EARTH(FL).

I know you think my attitude is �FIGMO�(TX), but the bottom line is that I think I�m getting the SHAFT(CO), and a CHITI(OK) deal as well. The really bad news is that I didn�t use half of the named intersections available in this dissertation (?). The PC Police could have a ball here, don�t you agree?

You might reasonably conclude that to some degree I have written this tongue-in-cheek and such assumption would be correct in the main. Do not be lulled into ignoring the second paragraph of this letter. I�m not smiling that much.


ADIOS(DE) AMIGO(CA),


Dan H.
Central Area CPC


* Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the British, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. The longbow was made of the native Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as �plucking the yew� (or �pluck yew�).
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at them, saying �See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!�
Since �pluck yew� is difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning gradually changed to a labiodental fricative �F�, and thus THE WORDS often used in conjunction with the one fingered salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter. It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as �giving the bird�.


Acknowledgment of receipt: