You may turn it around, but she has a boyfriend.
This^^^ with about a 99% certainty.
Women don't just fall out of love and decide to move on. Love is tied to security with them and unless things are really bad like they're getting beaten or continually cheated on they don't just "fall out of love" and decide to give up security. They generally don't move on until they have another security blanket lined up, which your wife almost certainly does. The description of what she said and the way she carried things out is pretty much straight out of the cheating wife playbook.
I'm sorry, I was there about a year and a half ago and it sucks. You have two priorities right now to concentrate on, your children and your financial estate. Try to keep the children out of it as much as possible, which is impossible I know, but do your best. After that you've got to try and come out of it with at least a shirt on your back. She'll do her best to keep the boyfriend hidden but he's arcing around out there, count on it. Her goal is going to be to walk out with as much of your estate as she can to start the new love nest with him. She's going to try and portray everything as your fault, playing on your emotions to guilt you into giving her more in the divorce, don't let her do it. Get the best divorce lawyer you can afford, the laws are already stacked against the man so you've got to protect yourself the best you can. You can't continue to be a good dad to your children if your ex puts you in the poorhouse, which can easily happen with the crazy divorce laws we have today. You have to keep your emotions in check and think clearly, remember it's no longer a marriage but rather a business transaction.
1. Get the best lawyer you can afford
2. Don't fall for her emotional blackmail
3. Locate the boyfriend. It doesn't do much legally but it can help turn the tide of the divorce if you can show what's really going on.
