There are four children here that need parents, and a home, one of you two needs to figure out who's going to give it to them, at this point that should be your number one concern.
As it sounds neither of you has given that much thought, and if their mother is willing to walk outta their and your lives, then shes neither a mother, or worth worrying about.
Gladly I have never been in your shoes, nor do I want to be.
