birddog65, first off I am sorry for your current path. It sounds like this was unexpected for you and no one I know likes to get blind sided.
As another poster said, "when you are done, you are done." Only you can say if there is no hope but these are deliberate actions on your spouses part. One does have to try, you are, if she declines then it may be time to move on.
I wish you well.
