Here is my .02.
OP works hard to make a living. Wife doesn't work and stays home with the kids. They are living the dream with a nice pad and are keeping up to the Jones but it ain't enough for her.
She wants more. In her mind, she's missing something that the OP isn't giving her. Sure he does a lot of work around the house, fixes everything, does the church thing etc. but the relationship has grown stale "in her mind."
She wants the "newness" and the "excitement" of when they first got together. Not realizing YET that it will never happen and you have to learn to enjoy the newness of everyday even though it may be more boring than the first year of banging like crazy in the backseat of a car etc.
ALL women get this way and I'm not even kidding! From what the OP has said, he is in the phase of when the wife brings up the "team" thing. The OP more than likely has responded with "I do this! I do that! And what do you do?? I pay for this life we live and you don't even work! And now you're blaming ME for this CHIT????!"
This is a guy's defense mechanism response to someone questioning their contribution. I know because I've done it. I still don't understand how it affects women so bad but man you put those words out there and they are hurt and truly affected by them. They can call men every name in the book and we'll forget it the next day. Women, for some reason, DO NOT FORGET THE CHIT SAID IN ANGER! EVVVVVERRRRR
These incidents will add up over time and one day she will pull a card on you. Not necessarily the divorce card all the time but if you have ignored her pleas to stop making her feel like crap, it will happen. Fair or not. No matter how much you point out that she started chit or said this so you said that, she will dwell on that chit while we work our asses off to make sure our lives our going well.
Thankfully, I have realized this quirk about women and me and my spouse are very happy.
wish that i knew this a couple years ago
Fine, that's all nice and academic and all. But NOW isn't a couple years ago. Now is the time of the divorce lawyer, in the land of divorce court. Don't delude yourself.
dont you guys think that I need to see what happens at the marriage counselor before i get a lawyer??
Haven't you read the advice on here? 90% of it has been GET A PHUQQIN LAWYER ASAP!!!! Even our own resident divorce attorney, isaac, has told you this even though he won't get to bill you!!!
Listen, I'll say it nicely: the time for counselling MIGHT have been a couple-three years ago. She has said she wants out, so it's past the deadline for marriage counselling.
I know you want to make it work, I know your heart is broken, and believe me, I've been there (and so have a couple dozen other 24HCF members). But virtually ALL of us have told you from OUR OWN EXPERIENCE that you need to LAWYER UP NOW!!!!
Not after you see the counselor, not after you have make-up sex, not after she throws some other flim-flam at you. If you let her stall for time here, it's only going to cost you MORE MONEY and MORE HEARTACHE.
Sure, go see the marriage counselor on Monday, but for the love of Mike please talk to a lawyer first, so you can get good advice on what you SHOULD NOT SAY in the counseling session! Anything you say in that session can and will be used against you in a court of law!!!
