Sorry, man.
Your biggest punch in the gut now is to realize you made the wrong choice when you picked this one.
The divorce is not your choice, but you have no choice. It doesn't reflect on who you are.
Don't worry about the money, don't worry about the house, about the neighbors, the cars. It'll all take care of itself if you just do the right thing from here on out.
Decide who you want your kids to think you are, and act that way. You are what you do.
From now on, it's just a business deal. She will be covered in guilt, and you can use it. Get all that you are entitled to, and shelter the kids as best you can. There will be a time to tell your side of the story, when they are about 28, and have their own kids.
Find a good, very good, lawyer, now, and find a really, really good counselor for yourself, RIGHT now.
You will be just fine.
