Sorry to hear about another one of these. You'll notice you're hearing a lot of the same things, over and over. It's unfortunate how many of us have been there. Depending on your state, it may not matter what's really been going on, but between her cell phone log, browser history, emails, and credit card statements, you'll get an awfully good idea.
The advice you're getting is sound, and it's not just that you probably should heed it: your children need you to heed it.
If you're not convinced you want to file for divorce yet, get a lawyer, anyway. They do what you tell them to, and you can always tell them you want to sit tight for a while. What you can't do, is go back in time to get their advice, when it's already too late to protect your kids and/or cover your a$$ets. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.
Also, beef up your support network, pronto. Get with your buddies regularly, see if there's a divorce care group at your church, line-up trusted childcare/babysitting services for when you just gotta get the hell outa dodge, find counselors for yourself & the kids. If you really get frustrated, PM any of us. But don't post anything in open forums.
It's gonna be a wild ride, but now is the time for you to be the man your kids need you to be.
FC
