Sorry for the spot your in man. As said protect yourself and kids, get a lawyer. Put the house up for sale right now and when she asks why just tell her you can't afford to pay for two households. That in itself will make the situation REAL to her. That will show her what she's got to lose from one aspect. It will also make real what the kids are facing based on HER choice and HER behavior.
If you have the cash trade in her car for something newer that is gonna keep your kids safe and be reliable, your gonna pay for it anyway.
If there's a chance of turning it around this stuff will give her some perspective.
