Hear me out MT contingency....I need to vent!

Every man has his breaking point and by geeeeezus I reached mine moments ago....while you dudes have wolves and [bleep] to contend with, I have a similar and yet very different pariah within my own neck of the woods....I live on the outskirts of my city...a nice neighborhood. No wolves or coyotes this close, but we have a predator of equal aggravation ....[bleep]' tree rats! Yup, grey squirrels! Cacksucker's eat the winter seed put out for the song birds...they dig up the lawns hiding [bleep] acorns and then unhiding them...ingenious little pricks that defeat anti-squirrel devices every time.....until today!

I have finally come to terms with who I am in my neighborhood and where I do or most likely don't fit....I am that guy! Not unlike Oswald, I too now have an elevated snipers nest. Albeit not the 5th floor of the School Book Depository, my 2nd floor bedroom [bleep] works just as effectively! I am [bleep] death from above!

Now then...I must be stealthy as the neighbors would poo poo the thought of it. You see, they can't talk about such things at their cocktail parties or board meetings or at the club....but deep down in a dark place that they never mention, they need me....they all have perfect lawns that they don't even cut themselves....so they despise the furry tailed little vermin as well...but publicly...cannot admit it....they want me on that window....they need me on that window!

Today, a brave new world is born! Silent death from above! .22 super colibri rounds are quieter and more effective than a pellet gun....the high brow neighbors are being provided a silent and secret service!

DBA 1.....tree rats 0

[bleep] 'em and feed 'em beans!

Last edited by fatjack34; 11/10/12.
Kindness invites abuse
du ma nhieu