Originally Posted by MojoHand
Originally Posted by DanAdair
I guess it's story time to make Poob's day.


So last night, I went up to the Great Northern to listen to a band and meet up with a couple girlfriends. Yes, I double booked in case one was a No Show. While I'm waiting on either one to show up, a nice young lady I know from the local sporting goods retailer came and sat down at the same table me and Uncle Buck were at (Uncle Buck is pretty much Ingwe, divorced, with a handlebar mustache) So Ginger says hi, we BS some, and she tells me she's waiting on her dance partner to show up too... So we figure we'll wind up with about 3 guys who like to dance with cute wimmens, Ginger, and my two who just texted me they are on their way.... Since Ginger is the cutest of the 3 wimmens that I know who will be in attendance, I give her the "The two girls I know that are coming are just friends, nothing too serious" speach... Buck has agreed to be a right proper wingman, and keep the other two entertained if need be (he's wearing a black cowboy hat, has a handlebar mustache and is wearing a T-shirt that says "For my next trick, I'll need a condom and a volunteer from the audience" for [bleep] sake)

So, while we're waiting Ginger says "You know the difference between peanut butter and jam?" "You can't peanut butter your cock down my throat." So like any right proper gentleman, I go get us a couple rounds of Purple [bleep] and some beers and ask her if she's single and gets an employee discount at work... Hey, she's about 5'2" with an ass off a Cuban girl, and B cup bewbies, the lack of an employee discount could be a "deal breaker" here.

So, the other two finally show up after spending god only knows how long doing their hair and makeup, and I'm 6 or 7 Purple Mohterfukkers into the evening, and at least 9 beers. The band is into the 3rd set and I've been having plenty of fun with Ginger. The dirtly little slut had been grinding that nice round ass all over me for a couple hours, and whispering sweet nothings in my ear while biting my neck... I'm pretty sure I know where this is going....

Uncle Buck comes up behind me and says "I'm taking your two friend-girls to the Blue Moon and meeting one of their moms there" What a solid dude smile

Sure enough... The night keeps on being awesome, and I keep on drinking Awesome Sauce. The band shuts down with enough time for the "Get to know you" shots, and then we go to breakfast. For once, I have a girl tell me "I know this is crazy and we just met, but I feel like I've known you a long time" Now when a guys says this, what he means to say is "I dig you, lets [bleep]"

So, like a right proper gentleman, I invite my new friend over so we can have deep insightful conversations by candlelight, while sipping cognac in front of the fireplace whistle

After her drunken Muslim prayer marathon session to my headboard, and some more deep insightful conversation by candlelight, she climbs off the bed and heads to the [bleep]. She climbs back in bed and snuggles her rockin' Cuban girl ass up to me, and I figure I better piss before I go to sleep (and hide my wallet and cell phone just in case) Now, I'll admit... Occasionally, sometimes when I wake up on Sunday mornings, I find that these pretty cute women are less than pretty cute with better lighting. So I figure that between a drunken marathon (and not wanting to have post sex three streams of piss to try and aim,) and that little fact about turning on lights after sobering up some. I decided that the best thing to do was leave the lights out, and squat to pee like a bleeder would. Well, in my ass cheeks descent to the seat, I realized that something wasn't right, and thought perhaps it was leftover Purple [bleep] haze. Upon further descent, I realized the seat was up, and it was too late to abort the mission. Sure enough, I fall all the way balls deep in toilet water and find myself thrashing for dear life, while spouting a line of explaitives that would make my truck driving ex bartender mother very proud. I calm the [bleep] down and I hear Ginger laughing in the bedroom. I ask just what the [bleep] is so funny. Ginger says, between fits of hysterical laughing "I was hovering...." More fits of laughter.... "I might have forgot to tell you I grew up in a trailer smaller than this one with 3 brothers"

It just might be true love this time laugh

____________________
Purple [bleep]' Ace


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