I got really drunk one night in Dallas. When I woke up I was face down on the floor with my hips and lower legs still in bed. The commode was wrenched off the floor and shower rod ripped off the wall. Slept right thru it all and have no idea what happened. So help me God.

It took two days for my nose to get re-centered on my mug.


I am..........disturbed.

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain