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Had about 5 years on the job when we get sent to a med call for a hemorrhage. What they didn't tell us was it was for an old pickler with a mag light buried, and I mean gone, up his fart funnel. I have seen more blood from a mosquito bite...literally none! This rump ranger calls us at 7pm and when asked how this happens he said the mag light was standing up on the bed and he accidentally sat on it at 7AM that day...wtf? This wasn't any f�cking mini-mag either...this old gaybo had a full sized D cell battery mag light completely lost up his ass. I should have wrote down all the f�cked up calls over the years and penned a book...