Originally Posted by DigitalDan
Originally Posted by n8dawg6
Originally Posted by DigitalDan
Dear Goose,

Or Iceman.

I have a problem. After seeing how 'Slave turned Wiley Coyote into Bugs I was inspired. A few nights ago the raccoon nation decided to visit my tangerine tree and plunder the sweet fruits hanging there upon. It left me askance and deeply troubled.

Last night I left the light on in the spirit of Motel 6 and periodically spied from the balcony, bathroom and such. When one showed up I grabbed my trusty CB short shooter and with one foot in the bathtub and the other keeping time on the floor to Huey Lewis and the News doing "I want a new drug" I popped one in the face. It was a snapshot, on the move with a very small sighting window and lo, it lacked the precision^2 that I usually apply to all things that annoy me. Perhaps I nipped the windpipe because it fled making a noise not unlike what I imagine Willie Nelson with emphysema blowing a harmonica would sound like.

I really, really wanted it's eyes to pop out (to the tune of "I want a new drug") but alas, it was not to be. It raced to the river and drowned after leaping into the darkness. They float pretty well by the way.

So anyway, my problem is this. I want to make their eyes pop out, but I don't want to give my geriatric neighbors the vapors with a lot of noise. I have .22s, .25s, .28s, .30s, .35s, .40s, .44s .45s, .50s and all the bores that white folk typically use.

What do you suggest? I'm short of gore here in Yankeetown!

Barbarian Danbo


your rifle is only a tool. it is a hard heart that kills. if your killer instincts are not clean and strong, you will hesitate at the moment of truth. and then you will be in a world of schit.

sincerely,

gunnery sergeant hartman


That be true Gunny. They all die, it's just a question of style, don't you think?

BD


Indeed, Sir.

- Iceman, as Doc Holliday

Uber Demanding Rifle Aficionado