Well, the wife is always wondering what the hell I'm writing so much for on this campfire deal...
She read the whole thread tonight, and she cried.
I um, ... I didn't really know what to say or think..
It's all just been such a blurr, the whole summer since that late day in June... From the funeral forward.
I'm not really sure what made her cry while reading, I suppose it could be that she maybe understands my drive a little better.
She was crying when she read my downplaying of what I said my role was in the sittuation before us.
I know it's more than hunting, and more than a deer camp. I know that, I just don't want to make a show of it. the truth is, the deer camp & the pressure & drive to have it completed on time is because I need it. I need it to serve as a tool. Yes it will be a wonderful place for a long time to come but right now I need it as a tool to create the atmosphere tzone was talking about. Yes tom you are exactly right, I've personally done a lot of growing up in deer camp amoungst the right company. It does provide the relaxed atmosphere from which things can be talked about, discussed with a little more comfort.
I love these kids so much, my cousin's kids. It's simply automatic that I want to be for them what ever they need me to be, I want to do for them what ever they need me to do. I want to be what ever I can be best for them.
The camp is a tool, a place to strengthen bonds & become comfortable.. become at home.
My wife was all but hitting me & crying when she got to the part where I downplayed "my role".
My role quite honestly will be as much as I can have it be.
I hope for as much as I can have, and more.
But I don't want to count any chickens before they hatch. (thus the downplaying)
It just has to happen naturally, and at it's own pace.
I just can't think of a better way to really kick off a new future, with newly strengthened bonds, strengthened frindships...
I don't know of a better way than to belong & start from the ground level with the birth of a deer camp. Being of the originators, belonging to the first year where tradition begins.
I guess it's what's been in my head since the day I mustered the courage to ask "the boy" if he could help me & if he could also maybe come & hunt with us.
He said yes & it was like someone fired a starting pistol in a race, I became driven. Never with any words about the depth of it all. I just became driven, with the physical aspects of it all, the building.
Now we are arriving to that point in which we transition into the actual heart of the whole project. The part where we get to light a fire in the stove, stay up late talking about what ever with lanterns flickering.
Planning spots for stands & trails... deer statagy, deer stories, other stories.
It all leads to a level of comfort.. and it all leads forward from there.
Tomorrow is one of those days. Actually guys, it is the first one of those days.
I'm very excited & I probably won't sleep much tonight.
I am happy, very, very happy.
"The boy" and his sister who of course we will call "the girl", will be up here in the morning.
We will all stay out at the new deer camp tomorrow night.
It will be the first night that we will have the pleasure of spending as a group overnight in the deer shack. It will be the first night that "the boy" gets to stay over in the shack, & the fact that he is bringing his sister aka "the girl" with him just makes it that much more wonderful. (my daughter is especially excited about that)
No building work is actually necessary, so we will do what ever we feel like doing. I suspect we will cook a good meal on the grill, we will scout for hunting if weather permits, mostly we will relax & enjoy each others company.
