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Alex huh??

Since its slow and all were doing is talking about the cold and getting Dave in trouble with Ma Dave, let me tell ya a little story about my first and only time downhill skiing. I used to date this girl that hailed from Montana. She liked to ski and talked me into going to Alex to the ski resort. Sounds simple enough right? Well we get there and rent our gear and go outside and latch our ski's on. (This is where the adventure begins) I'm standing there after struggling to get my ski's latched. Who would have known a 2 degree slope could put a grown man on his azz that fast?? I have to take my ski's back off in order to get up. An instructor type person see's me struggling and says come on over to the bunny hill and get used to it before you go up there (pointing toward what looked like to me...Mt. Everest) So I make my way over to the bunny hill where its me, the instructor and about 20 little kids. There is a mechanical pulley system with a rope that ideally your supposed to grab ahold of and let it drag you to the top. Well I get in line and all these kids are lining up behind me. I grab the rope and start going and my ski's cross, one on top of the other and the rope keeps pulling me over and down I go. Now I got about 5 little kids piled up on top of me with ski's and poles sticking out everywhere. I finally make it to the top and fell about four times on the way down...the BUNNY hill. Now I'm frustrated because at that time I was in good shape, played alot of sports etc. I was done with this skiing crap. The girl I was with said my problem was "the bunny hill was too slow. It's much easier to manuever on ski's when your going faster" So I let her talk me into going on the lift and up the "mountain". Were standing there waiting for an empty chair to come around and I'm so busy trying to stay upright and thinking about getting on the moving chair that when it came I panicked and dropped my poles and launched myself on to it. The people behind us kindly brought my poles to the top. Now were riding up and I'm thinking "Ok...how in the he!! am I going to get off this thing??" We get to the "hop off point" and I jump, promptly landing flat on my back and the other people had to jump off their chairs from the side while I layed there flopping like a walrus trying to get out of the way. Now I've really HAD it and I'm determined to get back down and go home. We head over to this run and the girl tells me "just remember to 'snowplow' so you don't go so fast and you'll do fine" Well it was too late I'm already going what felt like Mach 4 down this hill and she's yelling SNOW PLOW! SNOW PLOW! I have no idea what this means so I'm streaking down this hill (picture Chevy Chase on the saucer sled from the movie Christmas Vacation) and come to a corner that you have to make if you don't want to become one with a tree. I lean left and there is a little side hill that juts out towards the main course and now I'm airborn. I come down all tucked like a pro racer and now I'm really flyin towards all the hustle and bustle down below. When I hit the level ground this kid (about 5 yrs old) comes sking across in front of me and I yell "get out of the way!" He looks up and is frozen with fear as I'm coming at him about 50 mph. Instinctivley, I reach out and grab him by his jacket and pick him up and now were both careening out of control. He is screaming bloody murder and I'm just trying to stay upright so I don't kill us both. I finally come to a stop and let the kid down who at this point is so scared that he is doing the thing when they cry so hard that their quiet for about 20 seconds and then just let out a big long beller. I'm shaking and his mom ski's over and grabs the kid by the hand and gave me the coldest, meanest glare I have ever seen. The girl comes down and ski's up to me and asks if I'm alright and says "ok we can go home now" I paused for a second and said "are you kidding me?! That was a RUSH!"

I had a ball the rest of the day on those little slopes in Alexandria.

True Story!